Whilst typing up a letter for my Dad’s blog from his WW2 prison camp, I was struck by this sentence in a letter to his sister written September 1943.
It is, of course, impossible for me in this position to make any plans regarding matrimony; I intend, however, to waste no time when I eventually arrive home. Of course I must first of all find a willing partner.
Of course he found his willing partner and they stayed married for 60 plus years. But did they fall in love, or was it more about doing the marriage thing and the need to get on with the rest of their lives in the aftermath of war? From memory, I am not sure they had known each other very long before deciding to be married, and I am sure (being a realist and a witness to later events) there may have been times when he regretted his choice. However, the generation and culture my Dad came from meant that divorce wasn’t really an option, and possibly did not even enter his head.
How different we are now, or I should say, how different some of us are now as I am sure there are many couples who chose to marry for other reasons, and stay together because divorce is not an option for them.
I cannot imagine marrying, or spending my life with someone because it’s what is expected and how one is expected to be. I cannot imagine spending my life with someone I didn’t love or feel loved by. I cannot imagine spending my life with someone who doesn’t understand me, or whom I don’t understand. Someone I fight and argue with constantly and feel bitter towards. Actually, I can imagine this, as I have been in that marriage. Of course it was how marriage and love was modelled for me.
I apologise if you get this late, I have lost my internet connection due to very heavy rain! Being in rural France means we’re connected to the internet via satellite. When the clouds get too thick, we lose our signal and I can sometimes even end up doing housework whilst I await its return.
Even the gate is open, as it’s been too wet to go down and close it after my brief venture into town. I fact, if you could close the gate that’d be great, save me getting wet since you’re there anyway 😉