I am mortified. I told a massive lie yesterday and didn’t realise I was lying as I told the story (I can’t believe it, but it’s true).
Yesterday lunchtime I nipped to the shopped to buy some pectin substitute to rescue my Quince Jelly. There wasn’t any, or I couldn’t see anything obvious (in French!). I left the shop, and decided to pop in on my friend who lives just down the road, to say salut (as we’ve not seen them for about 3 weeks) and to have a quick cup of coffee.
She was telling me about her daughter, a few years younger than my daughter, who is very sad as her partner of 10 years and father of her child has played away. This means, she explained, that trust has gone from the relationship. We agreed that this was very sad, and I shared some of my own story regarding trust in a relationship and how mine was lost whilst my son was a babe in arms. All this is in French, broken and difficult, but I was sharing my knowledge of the feelings her daughter is feeling and being empathetic.
12 hours later, I am drifting off to sleep and am suddenly horrified at my conversation! It’s not true, my son was not a babe in arms, he was 2, and it was me who did the dirty not my husband. Later in the marriage husband played away yes, but not when I said and I cannot believe I told such a big lie and didn’t consciously realise.
Bearing in mind how difficult it is for me to converse in French, I am now wondering how I can explain my big lie and come clean, and how I can explain. In fact, there is no explanation, no excuse.
I am not a liar, I hate liars, I can tell when someone is lying (my son would vouch for that), I was lied to throughout my childhood, and trust and honesty are very important things to me, so what the &8^% happened yesterday?
So, I suspect (in fact I’d be lying if I didn’t say I know) that I will not bother to attempt to explain to my friend the truth. Maybe one day when my ability to converse in French has improved. I know she’ll understand, as she is
très empathique et sympa.
Alors, fermer la portail s’il te plait,
Kathy le menteur grosse.